Glass Tears
by Tarto
Summary: Naruto has a secret mission to himself, figure out whats causing this pain in his heart. Multi pairings, main gaanarugaa, though not limited to. psst, warning, both are boys
1. Numb

**Title: **Glass Tears -- Chapter one. Numb.

**Summary: **Naruto has his own secret mission, to fix this pain in his heart. WIP, Several pairings will be involved, main being Gaara and Naruto, though not limited to. People don't go through life with just one relationship, now do they?

**Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns the characters. I just made little voodoo doll copies of them to act out my every whim. And so I don't get lonely on those cold nights. Don't give me that look.

**Warnings:** Multiple relationships will develop, gasp! Some, well most involve boy on boy love. Don't like, well, than don't read? Why are you even here in the first place?

**

* * *

**

Numb. He clenched his hand against his chest, his mind grasping at words to describe the sensation spreading through his chest. Yet, his simplistic vocabulary could only grasp one word, numb. The feelings slowly seeping away, fading into light tingles, until they were no longer distinguishable. Like that irritating numbness he got when he sat on his foot for too long, cutting the circulation off enough that his nerves decided to go on vacation. There was even the ignorance of direction, where he had to glare at the defying muscles and concentrate until he could move them again. Only, it wasn't movement that faltered before him. It was feeling. He was numb to feeling. Unable to turn up his lips into a smile, unable to bring that shine to his eyes. He concentrated hard on the cold inside his chest, trying to find the center of it; his fist clenched tightly, narrow fingers gripping bronzed skin. Nothing. It was not a battle wound. When a kunai shoves its way uninvited through layers of flesh and bundled nerves, it _hurts_; it's a sharp pain that shoots up following the nerve paths to the very base of the spinal cord. It's strong, fast, and stings. It's definite. It has a beginning and an end. Besides, if the pain became too much, the body fights it off. Numbs it. Yet, that sort of deadness was a relief. A break from the pain. This was different. Wasn't it?

Naruto lifted his other hand from the cool grass held them together at his chest, and rolling onto his side, his legs pulled up as tight as he could against him in a position that could only be referred to as fetal. Not one a shonobi should be in. Nonetheless, he hoped that maybe if he curled up tight enough the soft earth around him would reach up and swallow him in. He stared with such an intensity he usually saved for those that threatened his important people at a few blades of hopelessly innocent grass that nearly swooned and wilted under the heat of his eyes. Though slowly they blurred as the denied tears welled in his eyes, the numbness that stretched the void of his chest slowly pulsing. It hurt, this lack of feeling, more than anything had ever hurt him before. More than the hate, more than the loneness that had filled his childhood, because, even that would be a relief, something to feel, painful or not. This was killing him, and he desperately called out in the silence without words for help, just to feel something, to … that was it wasn't it. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but that was it. To feel human, because if he had emotions of a human, maybe, just maybe they'd cancel out the inhumanness of that demon locked inside him. Naruto blinked back the traces of tears, already drying as the cold spread through his chest to the rest of his body.

_ Where the hell did this come from?_ Naruto had been lazily sprawled under the setting sun after a hard day of training. His jacket laying open under him, shirt pulled up to his arm pits, letting the warmth of the last rays soak into his lightly bronzed skin. His mind had been free to wonder, and as he had often, found himself lost among his little collection of happy memories. He had smiled widely, for he _had_ happy memories. There was a new honesty to that trademark smirk of his he wore plastered across his face. A true happiness tied into it under the surface. No longer was that mask fake. Yet, why did he suddenly feel so numb inside? This new sort of pain spreading through him. No, it wasn't new he realized. It was all _too _familiar. A painful reminder that his life wasn't always filled with those late night ramen meals with Iruka-sensei, that rare smile Sakura flashed him that had turned butterflies in his stomach, and even the almost sibling rivalry he shared with Sasuke. No, this feeling clenching at his chest painfully reminded him that dark and so utterly alone period in his past had been real, not just a past nightmare that he sometimes secretly let himself believe.

Naruto didn't get it. That time may have been real, but it was over. He had those people, precious to him, a reason for living. Yet, here he was, brooding, stuck with a nightmare lack of feeling not all that unfamiliar, and--he was brooding. Why was he, Naruto, brooding? No that was not something the future Hokage did, that delicate task was left for the ever-apt ice princess Sasuke. There was a sign something was off, normally Naruto would of taken the time to appreciate the juicy nickname he'd just come up with, yet hardly paid attention. Sighing, Naruto stood up; wincing from tensed muscles, he didn't remember telling to tighten. They'd have to work on their communication skills later.

Naruto was not a thinking man. He didn't waste time formulating plans; he just got up and did it. He was headstrong. Ready to kick the needed ass until said subject either got some sense knocked into them or was knocked out of the picture. He preferred the first, while he didn't make a display gloating over it; he rather liked it he made people believe again. It made him feel worthy, useful. That he'd in some way, no matter how small, made someone reach again for those fading dreams. He'd only wished it were so easy for himself. Sure no one would ever believe you if said that Naruto had ever faltered in his quest for the ultimate of acknowledgements, but you'd be more dead on than one of the remaining two Uchihas with a handful of shurkins. Under that plastered on grin lay a mess of emotions and fears and doubts tangled and jumbled enough to rival those sunny locks he sported. Naruto may be known for his denseness, but even the thickest walls cradle soft and broken in areas, cracked from the stresses and harshness life so casually dished out every waking minute.

A cold wind, coming with the recent setting of the sun bit at Naruto's bear arms, and pulled him enough out of his thoughts to drape his coat over his shoulders. His mind was already aching from a flood of incoherent thoughts, so he simply let his feet carry him, looking rather unNaruto-like, his usual energy and sway hidden under a lost and dazed stagger in the world of thoughts. Years of no set bed times and an relentless urge to be on the move had left Naruto with a rather well versed and accurate mental map of the layout of Kohona, as well as a nice list of places he could walk to blindfolded and at kunai point without so much as break of sweat, much less a thought. Not that there was a high likelihood of him being forced to make his way blindly to his favorite ramen restaurant or that over look of the Hokage carvings in the mountains he loved, but it proved useful at times like this where he didn't have thoughts to spare about useless things like which direction to go in. Oddly enough, Naruto broke out of his squirming mind to find himself staring at a familiar stone monument. Carved into the cool stone were the names of all the nin that died in service of their village. However, his hazy sky blue eyes quickly focused on another monument, something so much smaller, but with just as much meaning to him. A set of three wooden posts, worn and jutting out of the ground. Where Team seven had began. Where several times in the past Naruto found himself lightly touching the smooth stump under cool moonlight, just to reassure himself that it was real. That it had not been a dream his sad and lonely little heart had made up for him in an attempt to remain sane.

Naruto reached out a slender hand, the pads of two of his fingers lightly brushing over the middle block. The one he'd been tied to after trying to eat the lunches by himself. The one were both Sasuke and Sakura had humbly, well, in his mind at least, offered to share his lunch. The one that they'd left him tied to for half that afternoon after passing Kakashi's test. A small smile curled at the edge of his lips, but one that winced and faded at a familiar low and icy voice cut through his thoughts.

"What the hell are you doing here dobe?" Sasuke stepped forward toward him from under the shadow of the very tree he had once been hanging irritated and upside down from. His hands relaxed, his stance defiant as if to all the world, and he stared at Naruto. The kitsune couldn't help but wince slightly at that tone, something he regretted immediately due to the Uchiha's smug and approving chuckle. Sasuke enjoyed making the unruly blonde cringe, with an entirely cruel pleasure, and he carefully waited for the boy to snap at him, ready to retort right back.

Much to Sasuke's surprise, Naruto remained silent and merely pulled his hand back to his side and turned slightly were he stood, his back still to his rival, but head cocked enough to see him. Sasuke's face may have remained emotionless, though the edge of smug smirk uncurled slightly in the hints of a frown. Naruto was Naruto, reliable, strong, not that the Uchiha pride in him would even admit upon threat of death, but Naruto was something you could rely on to be his loud obnoxious self. Sasuke wasn't sure what he hated more, seeing the blonde haired imp like this or the fact that he cared, either way, he resolved to not let him brood, and helped out the best way he knew how.

The back of his fingers flicked rather sharply against the side of the brats head. "Yo, snap out of it idiot. You look sick or something." With that, he shoved his hands back in his pocket and turned away.

That was enough to snap the boy out of his thoughts and in a delayed reaction his hand went to the attacked scalp and he snapped back at his rival, inside slightly grateful for the escape. There was something serious and heavy on his mind, only he couldn't figure out what it was. "Bastard, what the hell you'd do that for!"

Sasuke smirked, seeing the heat return to his rival. "Cause you were off in la-la land like a complete idiot, and I can't be seen with such an inept teammate, now can I?"

"Why you-" Naruto threw a fist, which Sasuke easy dodged. It was a lame and pathetic way of saying, 'yeah yeah, I'm alright now, thanks', but it got the message through. As did the sudden loud and demanding rumbling of Naruto's stomach, painfully reminding him he hadn't eaten since morning, and the last rays of the sun had already hid themselves round the edges of the sky. Naruto stopped and pondered his stomach a moment before fixing his jacket and grinning wickedly at Sasuke. "Ichiraku's?"

"Dobe." Sasuke muttered in a half sigh. He bounded back fast, which put Sasuke at ease he supposed. Sasuke quickly headed back towards the restaurant, it wasn't a bad idea, he hadn't eaten in a while either. Naruto rubbed his head sheepishly and bounded after him, though the strange numbness in his chest was not about to be fixed as easily as the hungry pining of his stomach.

* * *

**A/N:** This is like, my first fanfic, ever, and the first chapter might be short or what not, but I'll have the next up with in a day or so, see, I lack what is commonly known as a life, and will therefore be there to spit out chapters at a rather quick paste. If you take the time to read this, please, just drop a simple comment telling me that someone actually read it. It'll make me update faster too. 333. 


	2. Uchiha

**Title: **Glass Tears -- Chapter Two: Uchiha

**Summary: **Naruto has his own secret mission, to fix this pain in his heart. WIP, Several pairings will be involved, main being Gaara and Naruto, though not limited to. People don't go through life with just one relationship, now do they?

**Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns the characters. I like to have private puppet shows with them. Most aren't for kids.

**Warnings:**Multiple relationships will develop, gasp! Some, well most involve boy on boy love. Don't like, well, than don't read? Why are you even here in the first place? -- Also, spoilers for later chapters to come, from seond manga arc, I suggest you catch up before you read further chapters, but I'll mark them first for ya.

**A/N: **Lot's of Sasuke angst, mmhm. Yummy. Had to reload chapter cause I'm new at this and messed up first time, sorry about that!

* * *

Uchiha. It was more than just a name, more than a fading memory. It was Sasuke. It was once many, a key root and power of Kohona, their protectors, their order, but now, now it was just Sasuke. The entire power and nobility, and most of all, responsibility of the once great clan now rests on the shoulder of one very broken little boy. Only he's an Uchiha, they don't break, they aren't weak, you'd be damned if you called one little to their face, no, he was the last one, he was not about to let down their image. He was going to show them he was strong. He had to live up to them. He had to avenge them. Mother… and father, yes father, he had believed in him in the end, hadn't he, could he simply let their deaths go unpunished? Of course the answer was no. People were many different things, lovers, menders, loyal, caring, supportive, even the occasional well meaning pervert, but Sasuke, he was an Avenger. He would right the Uchihas' wrong, he would kill that man, his brother. Only then could he rest, with the last of his bloodline, drying on his hands. 

Pale fists tightened, hands roughened with countless hours of work, yet retaining that undeniably attractive quality, which their owner always held. Nails, digging into the flesh, red fluid seeping through the cracks, a stark contrast to the skin to match the flared sharigan eyes, dual tomoe swirled into place. One of the fists was driven into the wall with enough force to create a foot wide indentation, several inches deep. Sasuke just stood there with such a strong anger that the air around him felt heavy, and small children would skirt the spot for days. His knuckles were bloody from the rough concrete, but he didn't care. Pain was the last thing on his mind right now, at least this kind.

Sasuke was generations of talent wrapped up into one genetically perfect shonobi. He was a genius, high marks in all fields. He possessed what was quite possibly the highest-ranking bloodline ability, a sharigan eye that allowed the copying of any jutsu, and eye that could see and analyze the movements of an opponent, even predicting them. He well built, dark and handsome. Adored and idolized by many. Even Naruto, his arch rival of sorts, looked up and strove to be as him. To be held equal to the great Uchiha heir. Yet, despite owning such amazing eyes, he was blind to all this. He could not see himself for what he was, the top of the class. No, he stood in the shadow of a mountain, one that blocked his path. His life could never really begin without crossing topping this peak, over coming his brother. He had no gauge however. He was climbing up the side of the stone, yet had no sight of the top. He had to look to those around him to see how far he'd climb. He had to look to Naruto. For Naruto was climbing his own mountain, both of their goals lay at the top. The only difference was Naruto wanted to stake claim to his mountain, Sasuke wanted to bring it crashing down.

Sasuke hadn't always used Naruto as a gauge. The idiot had been the dead last of thee class while he held the top, you just didn't compare the two. Yet, ever since the trip to wave country, his relationship with Naruto had changed. He still didn't know why he'd saved the dobe, more like, wouldn't admit it to himself. He couldn't just let him die, they were teammates, they were… no, he wouldn't go as far to use _that_ word. Nonetheless, in the end, he had failed, and Naruto hadn't. He had done what Sasuke failed to do. The dobe had done what the mighty Uchiha heir had failed to do. It was that day that he'd deemed Naruto to be his gauge. His way of knowing just how far he'd climbed the stony summit.

Sasuke's teeth clenched tighter as he punched the wall again, creating a second and much deeper crater next to the first. Sasuke wasn't one to show emotion, but when your entire life since the age of eight is angst ridden terror because your older brother decided to 'test' himself by killing off your entire family, and forced you to watch the massacre repeatedly, there's a limit as to how much anger your body can hold. And Naruto had just broken this boy's limit. For a moment, Sasuke had smiled, standing there on the hospital rooftop. His chidori had split open the water tower before him and it rushed out across the roof, soaking the drying bed sheets. Naruto's attack had merely created a small whole in his, the trickle falling over the blonde's head. There wasn't a question of who would of won had Sensei not interrupted them. He was finally without question the stronger of the two; he was really making an improvement. The peak of his mountain was closer that it had ever been. But those tiny feelings of triumph he'd allowed himself to feel fell apart the second he saw the saw the other side of the water tower. Like the water falling out of the gaping hole before him, he fell to the ground.

All this time. Days, weeks, _months,_ of training to the brink of exhaustion, and what had it come to? Had he even grown at all? He still felt like he did all those years ago, a poor broken child staring up at an impossibly high mountain. It suddenly felt impassable where mere seconds before he'd believed it to be within his grasp. Had he even gotten off the ground yet? The idiot, the bottom of the class, the thickheaded stupid blonde that would forget his head if it wasn't attached to him was better than he was. What did his name even mean anymore if the class clown beat out the great Uchiha? His fists had attacked the wall in outrage at this thought. He failed them again. He wasn't strong enough then, he wasn't strong enough now. He was never strong enough. Why was that baka always above him? What did that make him? He felt like that boy again, the one who was never anything in his fathers eyes. Not good enough, inferior, trapped in the shadow of his brother, the wall he was doomed to never overcome.

Kakashi watched the boy from a distance. Blessed with such seeing eyes and still so damn blind? Sasuke couldn't see, wouldn't see, and wouldn't admit to being less than Naruto. For that meant failure. That he'd failed his clan. That his brother had won. He was too blind to see that in this, his brother was winning. That level of Chidori was one used with intent of death. Did he actually want to kill Naruto? Kakashi dismissed that idea out of his head and hoped down to where the boy sulked, wiring the boy to the tree as a good listening aid. He could teach even Iruka a few tricks in getting kids to listen, though he doubted they'd be parentally approved.

"--THE HELL?" Sasuke tried to move, but found himself rather securely fastened to the tree he was sitting in.

"I have to find someway to make you listen, don't I? You're not one to appreciate the graces of a good preaching are you now?" Kakashi would of normally smiled under his mask at the situation, but his face instead took up a grave expression. "Sasuke, quite seeking revenge." He allowed a small pause for the shonobi to digest this. "I've seen to many fall to it, all you will ever gain on that path is more suffering and pain. And say you succeed, what then? It will only leave you empty."

"WHAT? How can you tell me to do this? You have idea what it feels like…" he grasped for words briefly, "What if I were to kill those closest to you? Could you still say those words to me then?" He smirked, knowing that this would make the Jounin reconsider his attitude.

Kakashi looked at him for a moment, painful memories carefully hidden under a blank face. "That might work, however, no such person exists." Sasuke grimaced and Kakashi smiled, well, more like his eye smiled. "Those people have already been killed."

The stoic nature of Sasuke faltered and he almost gaped at his sensei. For a brief moment, he realized that he was not alone. That others shared his pain. He'd been selfish in considering himself the only one to know such loss, but shouldn't he understand just how bad he wanted to fix it?

"I understand the pain of loss as you do. We aren't lucky ones, are we now? Yet we aren't the worse off now are we?" This caught the boy's attention. "We've both found precious companions." Sasuke's eyes fell. Sakura and Naruto. Two people he could consider friends if he brought himself down enough to use that term.

"You know as well as I do that Chidori is not meant to be used against those people. Your loss should tell you that." Kakashi undid the wires. "Such power is not to be used for revenge. You should know what it's for. Consider these words." With that, the wires fell and Kakashi disappeared in a puff of Ninjutsu clouds.

Sasuke sat in that position and found himself lost weighing things in his mind. Becoming team seven had first been a bother to him. They'd only weigh him down, wouldn't they? Yet, something had come of it. Something he'd not expected, and emotions he'd thought he'd denied himself long ago, despite never shown, had surfaced. Still, his confrontation with Itachi hung heavily over your mind. Not enough hate? The boy housed more hatred than his body could hold, and he still lacked the power to even land a blow on his brother. Yes, they had been good to him, but where had that gotten him? To still be so…so weak. It was this moment the four oddly shaped figures had decided to confront the boy.

Orochimaru, despite his maniacal nature and questionable fashion tastes, was very intelligent. One, maybe two of the Sound Four would have been plenty to send without worry to Sasuke. Yet sending all four was really quite perfect. At Sasuke's current level, he was no match. The easiest way to break the last of the pathetic binds the child had to that village was to remind him of just how weak he was. Orochimaru knew and understood all too well the desire for power, and how to draw it out. Sasuke was no match for them, and the painful realization fighting them would cause, followed by the promise of power, the power he could give, that Sasuke had merely a taste of, would be too tantalizing to refuse. Unfortunately, Orochimaru was very right.

Sasuke stood there staring at the team photo, the corners of his mouth almost turned up at that look on the dobe's face. He might have allowed himself that small smile had it not hurt. His arms still held the scratches of the fight with the sound nin, and their words still hang heavily in his head. This village was the shackles that held him down, that stopped his arms from pulling him up that mountain. They, however, had offered him a hand and the promise of power. The strength to reach the top, and to bring it crashing down. He gently laid the frame down and slung the pack over his shoulder, turning his back to his apartment, the village, and most of all, his friends.

Sasuke had been hoping for an easy escape. It really was already harder to leave than he would of liked and his legs felt as if he'd borrowed Lee's weights. However, that was too obviously too much to ask for, and his head fell at the familiar sight of pink ahead of him.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold and stabbed at Sakura's heart. Her eyes flirted with the ground, vision already blurred by the threat of tears.

"I knew you would have to come this way to leave, so I waited…" Her voice was quiet, and that loud annoying undertone had faded.

A slight pang of pain struck Sasuke, not that anyone could tell. "You should go home." He brushed by her and continued walking.

The tears cold not stay back and silently slide down her face. "Why are you so cold? So silent, say something to me at least!"

He paused; his heart beat loudly, almost painfully. "I don't need your help, or anyone's here. I don't need you to look after me."

Stinging memories of the past resurfaced, and the two were crying, one on the outside, the other inside, denying it to even himself. "You've always hated me…our time together, it's been painful, and difficult at times, but even so, I still enjoyed it." Silence stole a moment between the two. "I know what happened… it's not going to make you happy! Not you, me, anyone…"

He smirked. "I know." She gasped. "I'll never be like you or Naruto. My heart's already chosen a path, and that is what I live for, nothing else."

"But do you really want to go back to being so alone?" The tears were now streaming down her face and pooling on the stone path below her. "I - -," she faltered only briefly, "I love you! If you leave me, I'll feel just as alone, family and friends or not. I love you with all I am!"

She couldn't see it, even he was barely able to see the whole her words dug into his heart. Why did she have to care? Why did there always have to be the attachment? It'd break. Eventually it'd break, and it was better if it did now.

"If- - if you won't stay here with me, than take me with you! I'll help you! Well get revenge together, I'll do anything you ask…please…"

Sasuke shook his head and took a step forward.

"Don't leave me, if you do, I'll, I'll scream! And then everyone…" Her words cut off as he appeared behind her. He was close to her. That space that had always been between them had finally been closed.

"Sakura," he whispered in her ear, "Thank you." He meant it from the bottom of his heart. She had given him so much, but he could no longer cling to such weak things, they held him back. He had a mountain to climb.

He laid her limp body gently on the bench, fixing a strand of her hair, and took one last look at her face, silently saying goodbye. He turned and left, stepping through those gates of the village, and breaking forever a tie, the last that had remained in his cold heart.

* * *

**A/N: **Writing this changed my views on Sasuke, mind you I still want to kick him in the nuts, I just want to hug him too. Hope I did alright in the characterizing. The next chapter will analyaze the big fight between the two boys from both sides... and Kakashi. After that things will start to speed up and get to the main timeframe for the story, these are just important parts to help with the characterizing. Gaara will show up by four, I promise! Next chapter within a day or so, mind my silly putty doesn't distract me again. It smells like fritios! I can't help myself! Reviews make me feel worth while and speed up the updating, -hinthint- Myself esteem has improving room. Critism is also greatly accepted! I live to improve, just be gentle? Much loves! 


End file.
